At the beginning of Spring 2020 I had been a higher education professional for 12 years. At the end of 2022 I will be formally leaving higher education with no intention to return. This is the story of the long goodbye.
I started my career in higher education in 2008 and after completing my doctorate in my field of study I had returned to the college where I had started my career. Things were going well.
By March of 2020, what had started out to be a good year, up to that point, was quickly becoming a nightmare for me.
Personally, it was great, because of COVID-19 restrictions, I did not have to leave home very often, and I really enjoyed that.
Professionally, however, March of 2020 was a year of painful, professional, setbacks that I was not expecting.
March of 2020 was the beginning of the long goodbye.
There was, however, one redeeming aspect to the Spring 2020 semester and that redeeming aspect was a student, Mr. Hill.
I did not recognize Mr. Hill’s name on the roster for the Spring 2020 section of Introduction to Mass Communication, CRN: 13314, Course Code: COMM 1307–300, and this led to a great moment of embarrassment and laughter when Mr. Hill informed me that we had, indeed, met previously when I served as a faculty mentor to Mr. Hill for the fall semester of 2018.
I had taken the faculty mentoring job to add points to my CV in Fall 2018 and Mr. Hill had been a student who I had been assigned to as a faculty mentor.
As to whether I was an effective mentor is up for debate as I was not ever sure what sort of mentoring I should be doing.
Much to my surprise, Mr. Hill claimed I was effective as I had recommended Professor Burkett for Geology and his wife, also Professor Burkett, for the Geology lab. The double threat of Burkett and Burkett was too good to not recommend, and Mr. Hill said he enjoyed the class and the lab and thanked me for my recommendation.
I do remember recommending the Burkett dyad, and I am glad Mr. Hill had a positive experience in the class and the lab, but I still have my doubts about my effectiveness as a mentor.
Needless to say I did not pursue any further mentoring opportunities.
So, on the first day of class for the Spring 2020 semester, when I reviewed the roster and took attendance I had no clue who Mr. Hill was.
I did not recognize his name.
He did look familiar, but I did not immediately place that we had met two years previous.
You see, two years, in academia, is 8 semesters plus summer and winter terms and that can be a lot of names and faces to remember.
And I do try to remember names and faces.
And I am not always successful, but I do try.
Mr. Hill was polite to remind me of how we knew one another when I called his name. I got a good laugh out of this and offered Mr. Hill my sincerest apologies for not remembering. Mr. Hill transformed an awkward and embarrassing moment for me into one that was funny and engaging.
That moment with Mr. Hill, laughing at my forgetfulness, was one of those priceless moments that reduces the stress of the first day of class and unifies those present in reminding everyone that it is okay to laugh.
Learning should involve laughter.
Those moments are always valuable, and I try to make the most of them when they occur.
I wish they would occur more often.
Since Mr. Hill was in the class and my track record of being a faculty mentor could have been better, I decided in the third week of classes, Spring 2020, to increase my focus and intensity on engaging the students beyond what they were “supposed to learn” and “supposed to know” as a way of making amends to Mr. Hill.
I do not know if I can offer an explanation as to why I decided to do this or what illuminated my thought processes to increase my efforts at engagement.
The idea just appeared in my mind’s eye, and I obliged.
Also, in that third week I asked Mr. Hill what prompted him to take the class and he told me that he had registered for my class out of curiosity to see what I was like as a professor. He also needed to take one final elective before transferring to another school over the summer.
Awesome.
Three weeks in and we are off to a good start.
However!
Everything would change the week before the scheduled Spring Break, which usually landed in the second week of the month of March.
Ironically, my best lecture for Introduction to Mass Communication happened on Thursday, March 5th, 2020, the week before the scheduled spring break.
I will never forget Thursday, March 5th, 2020.
I was lecturing on the history of radio and its impact on our senses and my concluding remarks were to rhetorically ask and answer the question of why radio still matters. The answer being because we as human beings are physiologically predisposed to sound.
We interact with sound when we are in utero, and we live our entire lives creating and responding to and interacting with sound.
Sound matters.
Sounds matter and radio will continue to matter because human beings speaking to one another through meaningful sounds is something that we have been doing since our point-of-origin, our moment of creation, a significant part of our reality and being is tied to sound and sounds.
The Thursday, March 5th, 2020, lecture on radio was awesome.
It was a great lecture.
Mr. Johnson, another ideal student, told me after the class had concluded for the day that the lecture on radio was the best he had ever heard. Had he heard other lectures on the history of radio and was comparing? I did not think to ask him about this, so I thanked him for saying so and then he informed me that it was raining outside.
And indeed, it was raining.
The rain was a minor inconvenience to an otherwise spectacular day.
Thursday, March 5th was the last time I would see the faces of the individuals in my Spring 2020 classes on-campus and in-person.
The second half of the semester was completed online.
Two times a week I would look into a web camera, teach faces framed in boxes while a computer mediated our communication across cyberspace.
And this disappoints me greatly because most of them are now just names saved on various forms of documentation. Obviously, I remember Mr. Hill, but the faces of many of the others in that class have retreated into my subconscious.
Before the on-campus meetings had given way to online learning, Mr. Hill had asked me, in-person, if I would write him a letter of recommendation for admission to Southern Methodist University, a fine private university in Dallas, for a Fall 2020 admission.
Once again, Mr. Hill chose to look past my shortcomings as a mentor when he had no reason to do so.
I recommended Mr. Hill because he was a student who sought to be a person of integrity and character. He was always in the classroom before class began and always emailed his concerns or questions to me in a timely manner.
During class discussions, he was supportive and encouraging to the other students as they responded.
Mr. Hill was, and I hope still is, a genuinely kind and focused student, one whom it was a privilege to assist in their educational journey.
Mr. Hill requested a letter of recommendation to Southern Methodist University, and he got one. Not mincing words and certainly not one for brevity as you have already discerned, I informed Southern Methodist University’s Office of Undergraduate Admissions that Mr. Hill would be an excellent student and to not admit him would only reveal the ignorance of the university.
My prayer is that the world will not break Mr. Hill or damage his sense of kindness and generosity. My prayer still is and always will be that people of integrity and character will be valued and honored for who they choose to be.
So, what is the point of all of this and what does Mr. Hill have to do the lousy year of 2020?
So glad you asked as I fully intend to provide an answer, but not right now.
At the conclusion of the Spring 2020 semester, the college which employed me ground to a halt all chances of career advancement. Future enrollment numbers were uncertain. No major hiring decisions would be made for the time being.
In the past whenever I was asked how long I intended to “be a professor” or remain engaged in higher education I would always respond with “until it stops being fun” or if I was feeling feisty, I would respond with “they will have to request Plant Ops/Maintenance to bring a cart and haul my dead body out of the classroom”. The latter response always got laugh and that was certainly my intention as I had not seriously considered that what I was doing would ever stop being fun.
It stopped being fun when final grades were submitted in May of 2020.
I was not looking forward to my summer classes.
The summer classes went without incident, but the joy of educating was absent.
I have no clue who was enrolled in the summer classes, and I cannot name a single name that was enrolled. Names on a spreadsheet and profile pictures in the learning management system.
In the summer months of 2020, I struggled with an intellectual and emotional malaise towards my career in higher education.
Facing the Fall 2020 semester all I could think about was how I do not want to do this anymore, but what sort of options did I have?
COVID-19 revealed many of the unattractive aspects of so many things in academia and it could not be unseen.
I kid you not, in a Zoom meeting in July of 2020 my supervising division dean said to the army of assembled viewers that “higher education is a business, and we should treat it as such”.
Higher education has become a business.
Show up, do the job, keep the complaints to a minimum and if enrollment continues to meet criteria, then the show goes on.
There is no point doing it “for the money” as the positions that offer decent money are either discontinued or offered only to the most attractive candidates who can make the institution more attractive.
I could not and would not ever try to “fake it, until I made it”.
So, what is the point of higher education?
I am not certain I know.
For me, it stopped being fun.
I did not see a point in continuing to do something that was no longer enjoyable.
And I am okay with leaving to do something different.
Higher education will not get the last laugh in this story.
Let us return to Mr. Hill, who is the real hero of this narrative.
For 14 years I was a worker in a harvest and two years ago Mr. Hill was a part of the last bundle to be gathered.
Mr. Hill, the student who looked past by shortcomings as a mentor and inspired me to be the best at what I was doing.
There are many others along this journey, but Mr. Hill was the success story on which I began the long goodbye to higher education.
That was the last true semester in which I was a true professor of a subject that led students on a journey towards knowledge and wisdom.
It was an honor to have been a part of that.
I will carry the positives from that experience with me for the rest of my life
Best of all, I got to be a part of sending Mr. Hill to Southern Methodist University with a damn good letter of recommendation. You can find that letter of recommendation in the next section.
And this next part is the moral of this story. It is the “point” and if nothing else matters, then read these final sentences carefully and consider what I am saying:
When you are a position to help someone, and we are all in positions to help people, help them.
Help them succeed.
Help others even if there is no direct or immediate reward.
Help them even if it does not benefit your career in any way.
Help others even if no one else notices.
Help others while you have the chance to do so.
I would be remiss if I did not include the letter of recommendation I sent to Southern Methodist on behalf of Mr. Hill. This is the letter, in its entirety, with a few minor redactions for confidentiality.
February 26, 2020
Southern Methodist University Undergraduate Admissions,
I am writing on behalf of Mr. Hill who successfully completed Introduction to Mass Communication and Introduction to Electronic Media, classes in which I was the primary instructor. The proper assessment of a student’s character, integrity and ability is a process which begins when they walk through the door of the classroom on the first day of class. From that moment in time until the completion of the class on the day of the final exam the assessment of this student includes their assignments, exams, interaction with their peers and myself as well as the quality of the investment and contribution that they make to the life of the college itself.
This assessment never ends but continues throughout the student’s entire life. I take this assessment seriously as I must consider my role as principal investor in the hearts and minds of the students whom I instruct. My assessment of Jared was that he was an excellent student in the work he submitted as well as the contributions he made to the classroom community and the time and effort invested into understanding as well as applying the principles and completing the objectives of the class. Jared met the academic expectations which I set and surpassed them in unique ways. Jared’s final grade in my class is a grade that was truly earned through effort and determination as well as a willing and able desire to surpass my expectations.
These are the very qualities that all undergraduate students should seek to embody, not just for a season, but for a lifetime. These are the very qualities that make our country a leading nation of the world.
It is a privilege and an honor to recommend Jared for admission to Southern Methodist University as an undergraduate transfer. I believe Jared will enrich and extend whatever institution he attends, and I am proud to recommend his admission to SMU. Please feel free to contact me at your convenience.
In highest regards,
Andrew F. Rosbury, PhD
Associate Professor of Speech and Mass Communication
Andrew F. Rosbury 
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